Archive for January, 1999


Tuesday, January 26th, 1999

I built myself a new computer this Sunday, thanks to Mermaid for giving me a ride to the show in Poughkeepsie. I’ll tell ya folks, these Pentium 2 machines are a whole new ball game. Maybe it is just me, but they are a royal pain in the ass to set up. Once they’re going though, DAMN! Here is what I have:

Pentium II 350mhz
128mb RAM
Asus P2B Motherboard
Diamond Viper v550

Now understand me here folks, I’ve been building strictly AT Pentium Socket 7 machines until now. The first thing I slapped myself in the head about, the damn power supply depends on the motherboard, in fact it is CONTROLLED by it. So when I plugged in the case and turned on the power supply to test it, nothing happened. I crossed my fingers and continued anyhow. I install the RAM and the CPU, these Pentium II chips are neat looking, kinda like a Sega cartridge…. Anyhow, I jam the CPU in, and figure it is in all the way, so I mount it into the case, plug in the power, set up the drives, hit the switch, hit the power, and NOTHING. So now I’m absolutely livid (it happens when you spend $800 and the damn thing don’t work). So I proceed to check all the connections, they’re fine. I pulled the CPU, put it back in, and this time it went CLICK. I hit the power and everything starts coming up. I hop into the BIOS to set up a few things, and I see that the CPU is a 233. I bought the thing in the box, and paid for a damn 350mhz so I’m starting to flip out again, but as is the case with computers, I hold that back until I’m done. So I find out that I set the multiplier wrong (despite I did it to MATCH THE GODDAMN DIAGRAM), so I set it to 3.5x, reboot, still a 233. Bus frequency is wrong, so I set it to 100.3mhz and bam, it is a 350. Windows98 rocks, it just redetected everything to work with the new hardware. So far I’ve tried Carmageddon and a game called Motorhead. Both run superbly through the RivaTNT. Motorhead is evil in that I have the resolution set to 800×600 and TRUE COLOR. The game is beautiful. Anyhow, I think I may just toss in another fan to blow air over the expansion cards then I’m all done.

Pizza Hut Tech Support

Tuesday, January 26th, 1999

“Pizza Hut Tech Support, how may I help you?”
“Uh… Hi there, I just ordered a large pizza with mushrooms…”
“And what is the problem you are having?”
“Well, the guy just delivered it, I have it on the table, now what?”
“Have you opened the box up yet?”
“Well I did have my handy box cutter out, and I cut the box off the pizza!”
“Off the Pizza? Sir, you only had to cut that small piece of tape to open the box!”
“What do you think I am, some sort of idiot? Listen buddy, I make pizza from scratch, I eat pizza all the time, and I know damn well how to open the box!”
“Ok Sir…So what is the exact problem you are having?”
“Well I have the pizza on the table, but it is a big circle and we have 4 people to feed, what do I do?”
“Do you have a pizza cutter sir?”
“Of course I have a pizza cutter…what does it look like?”
“It is a small round metal disc with a handle that lets you cut the pizza as the disc turns.”
“Hey, there is no need to get all technical, why didn’t you just say the wheel knife!”
“Ok sir, take that ‘wheel knife’ and cut the pizza from edge to edge, in as many slices as you need.”
“Ok, thanks, I’ll try that”


“Pizza Hut Tech Support, how may I…”
“Uhhh sir, have you ever worked with pie before?”
“Of course I have worked with pie before, what do you think I am, stupid!?”
“Try cutting across the pie, so you can split it in half and have 2 identical pieces, then cut those pieces in half, etc…”


“Pizza Hut Tech…”
“Uh, what is the problem?”
“Well I cut the pizza in half like you said.”
“The halves aren’t identical! There are more mushrooms on one side than the other.”

I’ve wanted to type something up like that for awhile. I’m sure there are similar jokes out there like that, in fact I’ve seen one for General Motors. I just thought it’d be funny to carry over tech support to a pizza place.
Any suggestions on where else might need tech support? Drop me a line and I’ll write up a call.


Saturday, January 23rd, 1999

Ever done something that felt right at the time, despite the pain…then regret it later?
I have…

More Movies…

Tuesday, January 19th, 1999

Well I made one more splurge at the video store, picked up Waterworld, The Postman, and um…Black Dog again. Waterworld was ok, not the spectacular flick you would expect to see from the amount of money that was spent on it. A lot of people said it was like Mad Max on water…They were kinda right, because I loved Mad Max, but didn’t really care for Waterworld. There were far too many slow spots in the movie that lacked both drama and action… I wouldn’t recommend it.
Then there is The Postman. It is one of the best movies I have seen in awhile. It is a little long, I can’t remember how long, but enough so that a slow spot would have killed it. Once again Costner is involved in a post-apocolyptic world. After 3 years of winter and plague, bit by bit, small communities band together and try to rebuild. The bad guys follow the word of a wacko (original, yes), and do just about all they can to keep the good guys afraid. In comes the Postman, who finds a bag of mail along with a US Postal Service uniform on a dead postman in his jeep…gets into the community of Pineview to do what? Deliver the mail. Strangely enough, after Costner leaves, the idea of the Postman inspires hundreds of individuals to begin re-delivering the mail, giving everybody hope, until a final confrontation with the head bad guy. I really suck at explaining movies,a nd I don’t want to give away the plot, so by all means, see this.
Black Dog is like Smokey and the Bandit, without the Smokey. Bandit is now played by Patrick Swayze and is driving a Peterbuilt with a quad-turbocharged Caterpillar engine. Since the movie is almost entirely done on the road, I love it already. The action sequences are perfect, especially when it comes down to Swayze showing his character’s skill at driving a big rig. High speed, explosions, raw action, yes…This movie is perfect. 3rd billing is Meat Loaf who plays a bad guy. It is interesting seeing him play a bible crazy wacko. He plays wackos good. See this if you liked S&TB.

Microsoft is Funny- Mermaid

Friday, January 15th, 1999

Part 1 – Microsoft full version products. xxxxx – OEM – xxxxxxx – xxxxx

First set, 5 digits. Must be a julian date. (ex. 132nd day of 1996 would be 13296) This will work with all dates in the year equal to when the product came out.

Second set, OEM nothing to do here

Third set, 7 digits. Add up all 7 digits, they must be equal to a multiple of 7.
7, 14, 21, 28……. etc… (ex. 0035141 : 0 + 0 + 3 + 5 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 14) As long at the number is divisible by 7 with no remainder, you are ok.

Fourth set, 5 digits. Anything you want,.. birthday, lucky numbers, locker combo… etc..

Thats all there is to it.

Part 2 – Microsoft upgrade products xxxx – xxxxxxx

You need the origional version on your system in order to install the upgrade, however the upgrade is cheaper to buy…….

use the complex math formula to crack your upgrade version and make it become the full version,.. take the upgrade number you have on the back of the CD case..
(ex. 8113 – 2612415) subtract 1 from the first number…
8113 – 1 = 8112
use that number with the existing second number, and the software will no longer look for a qualifying previous version and will install in full.

More Movies

Friday, January 15th, 1999

Rented Blade and um…The Wedding Singer the other night. Blade was disgustingly beautiful. Nothing I have seen yet surpasses the special effects used in that film, I suggest if you haven’t seen it and you love action flicks, you WILL love this one. Wesley Snipes plays Blade, the child of a woman who was attacked by a vampire shortly before his birth. So now he’s half human/half vampire, leaving him all their strengths and none of the weaknesses. It starts out as a simple “kill all the vampires” movie and ends up an extravagant “kill all the vampires” movie. Interestingly enough, it is similar to the classic Lost Boys in that all the Vampires were taken down by one of their own. As for the Wedding Singer, oi. It is a funny movie, but by the end I was so sick of the predictability of it and most of all, his hair style. It was bad enough that I had to see a Miami Vice clone driving a DeLorean, but thankfully most of the humor made up for it. I still can’t stand Drew Barrymore, she shoulda quit when she was a kid.
TWS is more normal humor, whereas Baseketball had the raw humor that made me laugh hysterically. I wouldn’t recommend that you do or do not see TWS… I didn’t care for it.


Tuesday, January 12th, 1999

I went on a spree of renting movies this past week. I saw Baseketball, Deep Impact, Dark City, Wild Things, and Godzilla. More proof that the critics are never right, all those movies were excellent.

Starting with Baseketball, it is a laugh a minute in the raw humor I love. Especially the Steve Perry psychouts…(See, I find that funny, so it was worth it). So what did BB have going for it, raw humor, gorgeous women, and an interesting plot. Basically, in the latter part of this century, sports teams become nothing more than billboards for their sponsor companies, and as a result players and teams move from city to city, and fans lose interest. So these two guys (the South Park guys) are trying to find a way to win a driveway basketball game without having to fork over $50 when they lose. So they cross Baseball with Basketball and make the psychout an intrinsic aspect of the game…the rest is history.

Deep Impact was also an excellent movie. It did have a slow spot after the mission to destroy the asteroid failed. But before it and after it, there was a LOT more detail given to the plot and the individuals behind it. If anything, it was more of a drama with a few traces of action movie in it. Everybody went into the theaters expecting an action movie, and that is why they were dissappointed. Armageddon was an action movie with a few specks of Drama, if anything the exact OPPOSITE of Deep Impact. So in my mind, DI was just as good. The toher interesting thing about DI is that they actually explore the possibility of surviving an E.L.E (Extinction Level Event), whereas in Armageddon they either blow up the asteroid or we’re all fubar. Despite the slow spots, I liked Deep Impact a bit more.

Dark City, don’t go into it expecting to see another Crow, because you will not. It was also a good movie, extremely dark and it kept me wondering until the end when you saw what the city REALLY was. If you’re not into dark flics, this one isn’t for you…But if you enjoy movies like the Crow, with that eerie mood to them, check it out.

Wild Things. See this. See this now. There are so many twists and turns in the movie, everything you expect to happen does NOT, in fact the opposite happens. With Neve Campbell and the other one, from Starship Troopers, arough! arough! arough! That was the main reason I got the movie, but in the end it was a LOT better than I expected. Matt Dillon plays a teacher accused of rape by 2 female students…that leads to a chain of events nobody could expect. Check it out.

Godzilla. Anybody who thinks this sucked, piss off. I loved it. With the idea of a Komodo Dragon growing to monsterous proportions as a result of nuclear induced mutation…going into a city, they did a damn good job. The entire story of Godzilla is that the nuclear fallout from Atomic Bomb tests mutated a Komodo Dragon, which eventually wrought vengeance on coastal cities. They pulled it off in this movie superbly. I would personally like to fire every critic who panned this movie. See, the problem with movie critics are, they go into a film with certain expectations, and if God forbid those expectations are not met, they say the movie stinks! In actuallity if any NORMAL person like you or I go to see it, without expectations, and suspending our disbelief as ANYBODY does, we enjoy the movie! I’m really sick of movies living or dying on the recommendation of Siskel and Ebert. I think they should both get locked into one of the dummy cars at a monster truck rally. My advice is as always, go see the movie, judge it for yourself…Ignore the “critics”…if they ever had to justify their existence, they’d be out of work.


Tuesday, January 12th, 1999

Well after the waste of $14 I got with “Two – Voyeurs” (Rob, PLEASE don’t do that again), I got yet another gift certificate to Media Play and as usual bought 2 CD’s. This time I got Joey Belladonna’s new album. Belladonna is the ex-singer of Anthrax and his new efforts, his first self titled album and this new one, Spells of Fear, are both EXCELLENT. The guitars, drums, vocals, all fit in perfect. Each song makes me like the album more. Once again, I slipped. I rarely buy CD’s that I do not like, but I had my hopes up that Warrant’s latest effort, 1995’s UltraPhobia was up to par with previous works. It is decent, but I think it is more along the lines of Pantera crossed with Winger. Both bands I admit, I like very much… But the guitars on just about every track (minus the final track, an acoustic ballad) the guitars drown out the vocals. Jani Lane has excellent vocals, but for the most part of the album, you can’t quite hear them. That sucks. So, I’m 2 for 4 on my latest CD purchases. Guess I’m getting old… hehe.

Disney Pulls Another Boner

Saturday, January 9th, 1999

(NY Post)  Or should I say causes one… They just recalled about 3 million copies of “The Rescuers” due to one scene where the 2 mice are in a nosedive on the Albatross, if you hit slow motion and watch, one of the skyscrapers they pass has a picture of a woman topless in one of the windows. This goes along the lines of the Who Framed Roger Rabbit laserdisc where you could look up Jessica Rabbit’s skirt…all the way up… and the Little Mermaid phallic poster, etc… The New York Post has a good article on it.


Saturday, January 9th, 1999

Ever have a morning where you just wanted to stay in bed and not move till Monday? This was one of them. I set my alarm for 6am, it goes off, then I wake up at 8am, right in time for WORK! I figure I shouldn’t have stayed up watching VH1’s Behind the Music and Storytellers for Meat Loaf. Meat Loaf, now that is an interesting guy. For one, he has a superb voice, and other than that damned Rearview Mirror some on Bat Out Of Hell 2, he doesn’t put out songs that suck. He just stuck to what he wanted, and suceeded. Early on in his career tho, after Bat Out Of Hell, he lost his voice because in his own words “he wasn’t a star” and wouldn’t accept that he was….Because he didn’t want to be. There is a lot more to, but that is what he summed it up to be. Plus, if all you remember is that REALLY fat and sweaty guy from the “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” video, he’s lost pretty much all the weight, and looks damn good for 50. One thing I’d like to know…and I’m sure that one of you can help me out here, what is Meat Loaf’s real name?