Archive for February, 2005

New Slang – Joybeans!

Monday, February 28th, 2005

rockwork: snow is just starting to flurry here
MarlinWK: hrm
MarlinWK: its gonna be a flop
MarlinWK: i’ll bet my ass hair on it
sara: lol
sara: how much ass hair can you bet?
* MarlinWK looks
MarlinWK: quite a bit
MarlinWK: LOL
sara: hahahha
rockwork: so.. if it snows a bunch, you have to shave/wax it all off and send it overnite/express to sara’s house
MarlinWK: LMAO
MarlinWK: nah, she can pull it out with her teeth
MarlinWK: heh
MarlinWK: i am NOT waxing my ass
rockwork: MarlinWK : you have to now…
rockwork: MarlinWK : you bet all your ass hair, man
sara: waxing his asshair!?
sara: i GOTTTA see that
MarlinWK: i never shook on it
rockwork: sara : when hes stuck in his house later, we’ll have to go pick up the wax at shoprite and head over to his place
sara: ok.. sounds good.. you can get around with the BMW hehe
MarlinWK: rockwork: you just want to see my joybeans, you fagle
sara: hahaha
sara: joybeans?
MarlinWK: just invented that one
MarlinWK: joybeans
MarlinWK: haha
sara: well it’s awesome

Today is officially “Will I have to choke the shit out of someone?” day

Monday, February 28th, 2005

I’ll tack on Saturday night, just for added flavor however. Saturday, I’m on Route 15 S in Jefferson Township on my way to Route 80 (was going to Tonic in Lake Hopatcong, may go back this week, not a bad club really, just a bunch of people who don’t know how to dance, bouncing around to really bad hip-hop.) Anyhow, I’m going along at about 60mph when I start to catch up to a silver Nissan Altima which has slowed down to less than 50mph. I pull into the left lane to pass, and they accelerate hard up to about 65mph. I stay there for a minute, then pull back into the right lane… Then they slow down again to about 50mph. Something definitely wasn’t right about the situation, and after seeing them jerk the wheel hard a few times, and nearly swerve off the road, I called 911. Now mind you, I don’t know Jersey that well, I had no idea where I was besides the road I was on. The car in front has now slowed down to about 30mph in a 55 zone, perhaps trying to get me to pass them. No way in HELL I am letting them get behind me… DAMN IT I JUST SPILLED CHINESE MUSTARD ON MY BRAND NEW FUCKING LEVIS WHILE TYPING THIS…(pause)…(mumble under my breath)… So they pull into the Mobil Station on 15 South in Jefferson. I pull over on the shoulder just before the entrance to the gas station, still on the phone with 911 and now a Jefferson dispatcher. I explain everything, give the plate number, etc… then start to pull away after they hang up. I see the Mobil attendant looking at my car weird as I pull away. THEN GUESS WHO GETS STOPPED ON SUSPICION OF DRUNK DRIVING!? Turns out the people who were in front of me, ALSO called the Police… ON ME, and with the help of the attendant at the Mobil station who got my plate number, I get pulled over. I talk to the Officer and he can tell I’m perfectly normal, I explain everything that just happened, where I’m going, etc… He radios in and confirms that the Nissan’s driver was high as a fucking kite. “Thanks for the help sir, have a good evening.” With that the Cop let me go.

So I make a point to get to bed early Sunday night, so I can be in to work before 8, get as much work done as I can before the snow possibly starts falling. That’s a first, the fortune in my fortune cookie is sealed into the seam in the pouch… and the identical fortune is in the cookie. Wow, 1.5 fortunes for me today… Anyhow, I wake up at 2am to these EXTREMELY painful cramps. My fault, as nobody should have a Boca burger doused with Blair’s After-Death sauce 2 hours before bedtime. I ended up being awake for nearly an hour in some obscene amounts of pain. When I wake up at 6:30am, I don’t want to move. I set the alarm for 7…7:30…8:00 and I’m up. I get to the shower, and the hot water doesn’t get there for 10 minutes… I started taking the shower after waiting 2 minutes… So I get out onto Pulaski, nobody on my ass, nobody out in front, the road is clear. I hit the 35mph zone in Goshen, and some stupid bitch in a Hyundai comes flying up behind me. So far I haven’t slept well, woke up to bad cramps, took a cold shower, and now this moron is tailgating me. At that point I just rolled down my window and flipped the bitch off. I wasn’t about to expunge any more effort the way the day was going. Today is definitely my Karma kick in the ass for something I must have missed. So we get up to where the Goshen PD usually has their speed traps… and the Hyundai backs off a few car-lengths. By the end of the speed zone, I get on the gas again, and when I finally reach the intersection (waiting for another moron in a Volvo who apparently believes that if a car is 100 yards away, they’re too close for them to turn onto 17A…) So they pull out, I’ve got plenty of space between myself and a line of cars that is coming… But I wait…and I wait… and at the last conceivable moment where I could pull out without forcing the oncoming traffic to slow, I floor it onto 17A and leave the idiot in the Hyndai to be stuck behind a line of slower traffic. ENJOY!

So I get into the office this morning. I’m actually asked by someone if they can install SPYWARE on their computer. Same guy I had to repeat everything to on Friday. I managed to hide at my desk most of the morning, catching up on a few projects… Go to sip from my coffee and find a dead gnat in it. DAMN IT. A little later I decide to go to lunch before the rush. I pull into the CVS parking lot, find a real nice spot, and go to get lunch. As I’m walking back to my car from lunch, another moron nearly clips me as she has places to go and people to see, I’m sure. Why people are intent on speeding through crowded parking lots is beyond my level of comprehension I suppose. So I get back to my car, I start the engine, and then feel it. BUMP. I look in my rearview, and see a 17 year old girl, a 17 year old boy, and a brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder behind me. Bitch hit my car! I get out, must have been a shock to them to actually see the guy whose car they just hit, rise out and stand a good 12 inches taller than the tallest person in their car (I love these Engineer boots by the way, they make me 6’4” tall). Our exchange went like this:

“You just hit my car.”
“Oh…I did? I’m so sorry!” LIKE THE FACT YOUR CAR CAME TO AN ABRUPT HALT WHEN IT STRUCK THE BACK OF MY CAR DIDN’T QUE YOU IN?!”
“Back this thing up, your license plate frame is pressed into my car.” She proceeds to back up, I verify there is no damage on my car, and then tell her “Be careful when you park that thing.” I think the boy was about ready to piss his pants. I’m really sick of these little piss ants whose parents buy them a new car when they barely know how to drive, and get over 200hp at their command. I’m not quite sure how I would have reacted if they had actually damaged my car, but it wouldn’t have been entertaining (for them).

So I start to leave the lot, and proceed to get cut off by 3 other SUV’s which apparently don’t understand the concept of a stop sign OR a seat belt. I pull out onto 17A, see a line of cars and SEMI’s waiting to turn right, so I get in the left lane. I drive through the light, and as the 2 lane merge begins to close down to 1 lane, the jackass behind me in a brand new Accord with Jersey plates puts on his right turn signal AND GOES TO PASS ME. I pull a bit to the right to block, he pulls further. I then just take over the remaining space in the merge and after he tailgates me for a moment (at that point, if the dumb mother fucker had actually gotten alongside me, he would have been on the shoulder all the way to Florida) he backs off. With the remaining space in the merge, and the line of traffic I was in, the only possible way he could have gotten past me was to ram my car out of the way. It was a stupid thing to try.

And now… My new jeans have a greenish stain in them from the yellow mustard that exploded out of the packet.

So again I ask… Am I going to have to choke the shit out of some dumb mother fucker today?

Cooooooooooooool…

Saturday, February 26th, 2005

Managed to open my eyes a little wider tonight, spent some time on MySpace looking for something to do locally, ended up heading over to Life in Slate Hill, NY to see the Sarah Morr band. I won’t label the band, they’re outstanding. Great lyrics, great music, they’re not my usual fare but they put on an outstanding show. I’ll definitely have to seek them out again. Check out their site at Sarah Morr Band.

Quick question…

Friday, February 25th, 2005

WHY THE FUCK IS HOOTIE ADVERTISING FOR BK IN A COWBOY HAT?!

Ok, you kumquats.

Friday, February 25th, 2005

I think i’m going to do my best to get down to Book Ends in Ridgewood, NJ tomorrow. Mark Levin, a talk radio personality, political guru, and now author, will be signing copies of his book “Men In Black: How The Supreme Court Is Destroying America.” I’ve been meaning to pick it up for awhile now, what better justification than to have the man sign it himself?

I’ve got to thank him for my favorite quote lately anyhow… “Clinton happens.”

Skipping the club tonight, may hit up one of the local bars for a bit…

*Bang Head Here*

Friday, February 25th, 2005

So I’ve been stuck at work later than usual, getting in later than usual, busier than usual, add those together and you’ve got one Network Admin who is eagerly looking forward to being set free for a weekend. So I get into work around 8:30, and no sooner am I at my seat than I am accosted by requests for assistance. About 2 months ago I was told that a department needed an application that did a, b, and c. So I picked up an application that did a, b, and c, showed them how to use it, and left it at that. Maybe one or two other times in the past two months I was asked how to do something, but overall I received very little input. So this morning, I find out that they don’t know how to use the software, they don’t use the software, they still need to do a, b, and c. I’m surprised of course, as I’ve already shown them how to do what they want a couple times, and over the course of 2 months it was never brought up that they simply dodged the learning curve like James Dean in a silver Porsche. So I tell him, write down a list of what he needs to know, and I’ll explain it. So I tell him, write down a list of what he needs to know, and I’ll explain it. So I tell him, write down a list of what he needs to know, and I’ll explain it. About a half hour later he’s back, re-iterating the previous problem, no list in hand as its creation had been delegated to an underling, and now stating that he needs to be able to do d, e, f, and g. Now the application I set up could do a, b, and c, just fine, and it integrated into what we were already using. So I tell him, get me the list, and I’ll explain it to him. So I tell him, get me the list, and I’ll explain it to him. So I tell him, get me the list, and I’ll explain it to him. So another hour goes by. Still no list, no actual questions, just complaints, he comes back, and says that he needs this new program because the one I set up doesn’t do d, e, f, and g. He even went as far as to call the company which produced the application, and they confirm it can’t do exactly what he wants. At that point, I’m pretty much at my wits end, I’ve explained, re-explained, and re-re-re-explained exactly what I need him to do for me. The end result? I install the new program. I’ll bet a paycheck that within 2 months he’ll complain that he doesn’t know how to use it and that it does not do what he wants it to do. *sigh*. Now take those events, multiply it by 3, and you’ll see exactly why I’m going straight to the bar after work.

Caught an interesting article off of PCWorld today, the author outlines just how he thinks Microsoft could kill Linux. To paraphrase, Microsoft could release MS-Linux which would support Windows drivers (a problem with every Linux distribution is the driver support for hardware), charge for everything from the driver layer up (including the GUI), rely on open-source for the base O/S, and then cash in as developers find a new hobby instead of furthering the Microsoft empire. It makes sense in a way, but in another light I see it as a big problem for Microsoft, as on one hand it could conceivably put a dent in Linux development…it could also kill Microsoft by providing every user in the world a way to run Windows applications on a free operating system…something that projects like ReactOS and Wine have been working on for quite some time.

One more topic on the computer front. After February 28th,Windows Product Activation will be disabled permanently. Thats right, no more convenience of point and click activation for a new computer, now you must call the Microsoft SS and manually get the activation code. Of course, with the availability of programs which can generate the exact same code from both valid and invalid license keys, this seems to be nothing more than treading water on Microsoft’s part. Honestly, if Microsoft wanted to put a large dent in the piracy of its software, it’d cut the price. Start selling WindowsXP Professional for $50 instead of $150 or $200, sell XP Home for $25. See, there will always be software pirates looking to obtain the latest software for free. But there’s a point where people will say “Well, it’s only $25” or “Well, it’s only $50.” Hell, some of those people could be potential Linux converts. Why build a top of the line computer to run Linux when for a mere $25 more you can actually have functioning plug & play, driver support, etc… All software prices drop over time, except for Microsoft products. Those prices are fixed, and those prices are a MAJOR contributor to the piracy of their software. Case in point, I have 3 computers at home, 1 is running XP Professional, the other two are running Red Hat Linux 9. I didn’t feel like spending $600 or pirating software, so I downloaded from their competitor. Time to stop dreaming Mr.Gates, and really stick it to the Penguin.

Maybe I struck a nerve…

Friday, February 25th, 2005

I’ve gotta say, last night was a vast improvement in the way the roads have been maintained. I pulled on to Pulaski and the road was salted, 17A was salted, everything was clear. Mind you, the ‘big storm’ that was predicted turned out to be a flop, but even in the past, minor storms could make the roads an adventure.

That dream has left me…

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005

Your first mistake was thinking you knew me
Your last mistake was forgetting the first
Catching whispers in the chaos you left
Relentless, they always make it back home.
Within whist torture, longing for those eyes
No words subsist to draw your gaze to mine
As your smile fades when you see me staring
A simple truth realized, and I let go

I break away from the mold you left me
Tearing myself to bitter shreds of black
I come alive in the flickering light
Discovering freedom beyond your bounds

A lost pair of eyes calls me from the crowd
A ray of light seeks me through the cracked walls
Your foot at my door has left me speechless
So much time has passed between our questions

Who are we anymore, are we at all?
Time, distance, space, and freedom brought us here
Lives come full circle, building momentum
Shall we rise or fall, shine or fade away?

Feh

Saturday, February 19th, 2005

So I’m driving home from the club last night, and I keep hearing talk about this ringtone called the ‘insane frog.’ That’s not an insane frog, that’s an indy car and you fucking know it.

No clue what I’m talking about? Click here.

Pants! Yay!

Friday, February 18th, 2005

Finally got a chance to go back to Hot Topic today and pick up a new pair of pants. The belt I picked up last week wouldn’t clear the loops in any of the pants I already had…. So I’ve got a nice new set of black ‘trousers’ for the club. Hah.

I wonder if I can pull off both Friday and Saturday at Q’s again like I did last week…