Archive for December, 2005

Tis all over…

Friday, December 30th, 2005

Just bought my first iTunes album. “Daysend,” their music is similar to that of Shadows Fall, God Forbid, Trivium. It’s heavy metal all the way and with the talent these guys posess, they’re guaranteed to followup in a big way.

Then again I thought the same thing about Shinedown. Mind you, I love Shinedown, their first release got me through some serious shit… But after listening to their latest I didn’t want to listen to 45… I wanted a real one, loaded and aimed at my temple.

What can I say, through the possibility of self-destruction we all find out what we are truly capable of.

In all, the music cost me $11, the RIAA gets their tithe, Apple gets a piece, and so does the artist. The album art is hi-res, so I can easily print it out… Anyplace else the album cost upwards of $13. Most albums on iTunes cost less than a music store.

Plus there’s the whole no driving to the store thing…

No lines to deal with…

No exhorbitant fees…

That and I can hear 30 seconds of each track before buying.

This is survival of the fittest in its truest form.

Pardon me while I raise a glass to the death of the music industry.

Long live iTunes!

Oh, my.

Friday, December 30th, 2005

I tell ya folks, for the past 2 weeks my life has been miserable. Nope, wasn’t the big ‘ol infected mass of crap taken from my back, not the fact that hand aches every cold morning since I broke it, not even the fact I haven’t been able to work out for nearly 6 months.

No folks, it was something far, far worse.

See, in my life nothing really happens to incur my vitriol or wrath very often. In fact I’m quite laid back.

So when I lost my goddamned debit card 2 weeks ago, the wait has been excruciating. I try not to depend on technology very often, but the Debit card is one of those wonderful things which has truly become a boon to my lifestyle.

I hate credit cards, the company which I have mine with are a bunch of jerks, and if it wasn’t for the fact I haven’t missed a payment in 5 years and they’ve given me a big fat credit line (both things which contribute positively to a credit score which will enable me to get a house soon) I would have cut the damned thing up years ago.

Not having a debit card has forced me to use the card these dopes gave me for convenience purchases, and otherwise have to either write myself a check or fill out a withdrawal slip at one of my bank’s local branches.

It’s funny how using this little bit of plastic through its convenience has become an invaluable part of my day to day life. I almost don’t even want to take it out of the envelope now, all new and shiny. I just know the second I activate it the timer starts until I lose it again. Bah!

I’d like to thank everyone who has made this moment possible…

Tuesday, December 27th, 2005

laughing.jpg

Must be gettin old.

Tuesday, December 27th, 2005

So today I go to pull out of my driveway, only car coming to my left is a Neon and he’s a ways off. I pull out and he’s on my bumper, then passing me over the double-yellow doing at least 90mph.

Flash back 3 years ago, RACE.

This morning, GOD DAMNED FUCKING SPEEDERS.

So I chase the guy down, get his plate number, and well… No cellphone. So much for calling ahead to the state police or Goshen PD.

So I just hang back, hoping to see the guy spin himself into a ditch out of his own stupidity. I used to own one of those things, past 70mph their acceleration is absolute shit, past 50 the handling is a big fat clumpy one.

Maybe if I still had my all-season performance tires on I would have fucked around, but after that accident a few weeks back which happened right in front of my house, my decision to tone down my driving style was reaffirmed.

There’s no fucking reason do be doing more than 2x the speed-limit in a 40 zone.

Yes, I know I said I caught up to him. Can’t get his plate number without seeing it. Ass.

BTW, if you read this, try and leave a comment… I’m getting tons of hits on the site but none of the comment traffic I used to… Kinda thinking my anti-blog-spam software got a little happy.

The spirit of Christmas…

Saturday, December 24th, 2005

Kinda funny how every time I hear someone speak of the meaning of Christmas on TV or the radio, nobody mentions the birth of Christ. Look folks, religion is the reason we have a Holiday tomorrow. Either acknowledge it correctly or shut the fuck up. It’s not like we call a Menorah a Holiday Lamp… It’s a fucking Christmas tree! Ya don’t have to celebrate it if you don’t want to, and if you don’t spare me your whining about exclusion. Forcing the majority to bite their tongue and say Holiday is exclusion. What we need is someone like Yukon Corleone to clean things up.

Raging Rudolph.

Point at a tree with lights, and if the word Holiday is used, 2 to the back of the head. The simple fact that I can put up a Christmas Tree while the neighbor lights a Menorah and not have to worry about religious persecution (ACLU and Democrat Jihad supporters aside) is just one of the many reasons we live in the greatest Nation in the world.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and for you heathens out there, HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

The Marine & The Insurgent.

Saturday, December 24th, 2005

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Faluijiah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the
highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw
each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
“I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag,
and he yelled back that Senator Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk. So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean spirited lesbian!”
He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Mrs. Clinton!”

“And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a
truck hit us”

Thanks to Mike for that one.

Sonofabitch I hate ice.

Friday, December 23rd, 2005

Yea so my driveway is dirt. It’s an ice-sheet. They could hold Olympic Figure Skating on my driveway. I haven’t fallen on the ice in ages…till this morning. Right foot went out and BAM, right on the side. I’m sure it didn’t help the gash on my back at all.

Time to get some of that melty crap for it.

Gotta love my neighbor’s reaction. Open the door, watch, wait till I get up, then close the door.

No “You ok?” Even the girlfriend came sprinting out after I hit let out a nice shout followed with a “SON OF A BITCH…”

Tis the season for drunk-en driv-ing.

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

I’m definitely looking forward to the forthcoming end to the Holiday season. Everyone seems to have their own reason to hate the holidays. My reason? It nearly scares me out of driving. Now folks, I’ve loved driving since my first moment where I depressed the pedal on my father’s ’92 Plymouth Acclaim. Every year around this time though, nothing makes me wish more that I had a huge fucking garage to lock my car in while I drove around in an battle-tank.

This past Monday I stopped at a mall down in Jersey, on my way out the Holiday spirit engulfed me in the form of a total jackass who shot out in front of me, taking over both lanes and leaving me with no choice but to swerve around him in the oncoming lanes.

Now evasive driving is always exciting, evasive driving on snow-tires, oh boy it’s better than sex. Just kidding. I cut the wheel one way and the rear of the car swung loose, cut it the other, loose… I regained control of the car, the idiot behind me came to a stop – finally realizing how much of a MORON he was.

The on the on-ramp to I-80, this twit in a Jetta tries to squeeze me out of a merge. Course, her lane was ending, not mine. Then on 15 I’m stuck behind a tractor trailer. I get past him only to end up behind a Ford Escort who insisted on doing 30mph. I get past them only to end up behind a drunk in a Wrangler to speeds up in passing zones and brake-checks every time oncoming traffic passes. Joy.

Tying up some last minute shopping on Tuesday, I leave the store to see some 85 year old fucker who shouldn’t be behind the wheel, backing into the front bumper of my pride and joy.

12 attempts later he finally parks and apologizes. Road tests. Give these people road tests, eye tests, and reflex tests. If they can’t prove they’re capable of driving better than a 17 year old they can learn to take the bus.

AH HEMM.

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

U.S. Army 101st Airborne Division finds “large cache”

Cooooool…

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

Takes quite a bit to impress me these days, being I can’t quite stand the holidays.

Still, when ya strap a couple thousand Christmas lights to your house and sync them up to some Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I can’t help but be impressed.

Follow the extended entry to see the video.
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