Archive for October, 2007

Oooook then…

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

If you’re old enough to drive, you’re way too old to trick or treat.

I’m headed into Jersey before and see a couple of teenagers get out of a Ford Escort – both have costumes and bags, and are headed into a local neighborhood.  Now I’ll admit, when I was 13 I went trick or treating, and it was the last time I went.  Honestly, I shouldn’t have even bothered – I mean, I was 6 feet tall.  I figure trick or treating should be for people 10 and under – period.

11 and over should be buying eggs and toilet paper, not getting free candy.

More Turbo!

Monday, October 29th, 2007

Today I read that Chevy has announced the 2008 Cobalt SS Turbo – 260hp, 260ft/lbs, all likely under-rated from the factory to keep the insurance rates a little less than mortgage like.  Personally, I’m happy to see a turbo in any car, but when they’re coming in a factory GM product it only makes me hope that one day they’ll come to their senses and pair a V6 to a turbo ala the Buick Regal.  I used to own a 1986 Buick Regal T-Type, unfortunately I lacked the funds or the facilities to restore it (it’s currently driven by a teenager and pulling 10 second quarter miles).  I could only imagine what 20 years of advanced engineering and design could bring us should Buick pair a turbo with a fat Chevy V6.

Ah shit…

Saturday, October 27th, 2007

So as I’m there on the can, looking down at the floor, I realize that I’m looking through my pants – and I see the floor.  Somehow they split right up the back, adjacent the left pocket.

I’m not at home, no – I’m at a mixer for the Goshen library’s capital campaign… maybe 40 people, plus Civil War re-enactors all chatting away outside.

Tack on no belt, and it turned out to be interesting. I ended up hiking up my pants Hank Hill style then tying a curtain rope around my waist to keep the pants on. Thank God for long shirts. I’m really surprised tho, these are size 38 Arizona boot-cut jeans, and they’re baggy as all hell. Time to go back to Levi’s I think.

Pod

Saturday, October 27th, 2007

Ground breaking futuristic racer that runs best on a Pentium 200MMX?  No, sorry.

Alt-rock band tagged as Religious metal for being positive?  Eh… no.

Cute little overpriced music player that you simply MUST have?  Nah.

Loud, inefficient, amperage sucking coffee maker that is good in concept but never quite gets it right?  You guessed it!

Now the Pod Coffee Maker in concept seems like a good idea.  The technology isn’t really anything new.  Add water, hit a button, and the water is rapidly heated to the point of steam.  A few moments later, it is blasted through a pre-measured filter packet or “pod” and into your cup.  I’ve used a few of these and one thing is abundantly clear – none of them work!  Most offer the ability to provide you with a measured cup of coffee in either 6, 8, or 12 ounces.  In every case, I usually end up with maybe half of the coffee I wanted.

Now I can’t just hit the button again – NO!  I have to wait for the pod maker to be ready… and then run through its cycle.

I’ve timed it folks, I can make a full cup of coffee with my trusty dusty Mr Coffee in less time than it takes the high-tech pod maker to do the same job… I think I’ll stick to Mr Coffee.

The key to surviving traffic is to have a well-timed impact.

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

So what’s been up lately?

Well, the dealership had my car for two weeks in order to fix the dashboard due to a mouse chewing some wires.

I had the car back for a day, less than a day, and some jackass keyed it.

I had the car back for a week, and an 83 year old man rammed me from behind.

I’m sitting there, minding my own business, waiting for oncoming traffic to clear so I could pull into my office and enjoy some fresh sushi…  Then I see it in my rearview, a sky blue 1993 Ford Crown Victoria speeding towards me in an attempt to overtake a pair of tractor trailers.  He sees me too late, I see the nose of his car dive as he slams on the brakes…  I look up, see traffic still oncoming, look to my right mirror and see the two tractor trailers passing – I go limp, close my eyes…  BOOM.

Seemed like an eternity really, waiting for the crash.  Then it happened, I lurched forward, and pulled into my parking lot as the traffic finally cleared.  The guy who hit me?  The 83 year old man who tried to race a pair of tractor trailers?  Tried to drive off.  I think when I ran across the road and nearly reached through the window changed his mind.

The police had my back, and it was clearly the other guy’s fault.  He even tried to say “I never saw your lights.” Sure.  You didn’t even see the 3000lb Volkswagen stopped, so I doubt my blinker or brake lights (both of which were ON) would have made a difference.   I got a lift to the local hospital a little after – my back was killing me.  A day off from work, and I was back in business… driving another Chevy.

$1200 and 3 weeks later, I have the car back.  Not fun.  I rented a Chevy Trailblazer (very uncomfortable seats) a Nissan Sentra (too damned small), and finally a Ford Escape (after 3 days could no longer start without cranking for 5 minutes).   Progressive handled the claim as well as they could, my rep was more than a little lazy – I had to call in the claim to the other company (Progressive made a claim to the wrong company, and never followed up), it took the guy 2 and a half days to inspect my car and generate a quote – it then took the guy nearly a WEEK to return calls from the body shop and I.  Gran Prix handled it well, fixed the car up like new and also repaired the key scratch in the passenger door.

Still have to wait for the deductible to be reimbursed, but I’m glad to be driving my lil woosh again.  That, and I hate old people.

Something funny happened on the way to this evening…

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

So awhile back I mentioned getting a free subscription to Rolling Stone magazine. All I can say is, I wouldn’t wipe my ass with this magazine. Sure, I could try, but nothing comes close to two-ply. Every magazine is the same thing – “only Republicans are evil,” “Al Gore is right about everything,” and “The music industry is your friend.” Seriously, they pay lip service to Radiohead’s ground-braking “F the Industry” release of music and then provide a majority of dissenting opinions. Of course, the only opinions they publish are from people who are on record as being mindless lemmings… Or should I say – “Bush is an idiot – who is masterminding world domination.” Yea, I don’t get it either. He’s either Pinky or The Brain – not both. I don’t buy that Cheney is the root of all evil either, we all know that the root of all evil lies in Barbara Streisand’s underwear.

Now to take things in a completely different direction (I had an entirely different reasoning for this post, but I had to get that whole Rolling Stone thing off my chest)…

I’m engaged. 🙂

While I was hoping to hear “Yes!” first, a solid “Holy Fuck!” was good enough for me! I’ve been dating the same wonderful lady for nearly 5 years now, it’s been a rocky road at times, but hey – it’s me. I can honestly say that this is the one part of my life that simply makes sense.

I popped the question at our favorite restaurant, Harpoon Bay in Warwick, NY. It was definitely a memory that will last a lifetime.  I couldn’t think of a better place to share the special moment than Harpoon Bay – we usually go there a few times of a month.  Great food, great people, it’s always an experience – and it’s our place.

Oh and by the way, the hiatus is over – as soon as I figure out how to shut off RSS, we’ll be golden. All you lazy fucks who use an RSS reader, we’re going old school. USE A FUCKING BROWSER. I didn’t spend 20 minutes downloading this spiffy them for my Everything/Nothing page just so you could read the whole goddamned thing in plain text.

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CHEERS.