To The Metal

So I lost my credit card 9 days ago.  I tell my fiancee, she says ‘pray to St.Anthony every day to help you find your card.  If you haven’t found it after 9 days, you never will.’  On Monday,  day 6 – I call my credit card company and report the card lost.  Still, I say my little prayer, and wonder where it went.  Yesterday, we had an appointment to keep – she was going to catch up in her car after I started off with the kids.

She calls me right after I get to the Church, ‘my car won’t start, I need you to jump it.’ So I drop the kids off, head home, wire her car up to mine, let it idle – and when she tries to start it – ‘clickety clickety click.’

We try again after a few more minutes, no luck.  We leave the car there, we make our appointment – I head off to Walmart to get a portable jump starter.  I get home after picking everyone up, and on my first attempt the car won’t start.  I then put the jump starter directly on the terminal clamps for the battery (after cleaning off a ton of corrosion) – car starts right up and stays running.  I let it idle for a good 20 minutes, come back out and the battery light is on.  The car is effectively running off the alternator.  I confirm this when I shut it off, and it won’t turn back on.

So my favorite yellow plaid shirt came back from the laundry yesterday, and I decide to wear it today.  Not sure why, I just felt like wearing it.  I take the battery out, head off to NAPA – they run a load test and its fully charged.  Second load test, it doesn’t work.  He squeezes down hard on the terminal clamps – and it works.  So I pick up a terminal cleaner brush, and head home.  I clean the terminals and terminal clamps off.  That’s when I notice that the terminal clamps are cheap, thin copper – and have been eaten away by the excess corrosion that has built up in the 2 years since the battery was installed.  By this point I”m sweating profusely.  It’s hot and humid, and I’m standing in direct sunlight.  I head back down to NAPA and buy a new pair of terminal clamps.  I install the clean clamps on the clean terminals, car starts right up.  I then put everything back together – still sweaty, covered in acid,  and generally feeling nasty.

Go inside, clean up – realize I should change my shirt since it is absolutely soaked in sweat.  I change my undershirt – go to put on the same yellow plaid shirt (my current favorite shirt) – and it is also soaked.  I look in my closet and grab my old favorite yellow plaid shirt, throw it on, and head out the door.  I haven’t worn the shirt in oh… 9 days or so.  Hop in the car, get to the office, and after awhile I need to run outside and make a phone call.  I throw my phone in the front pocket of the shirt and head out.

As I reach into my pocket to pull the phone out, a small blue plastic card falls out with it.  Yeah, it was my long lost credit card, found 9 days later.  Doy.