I’m heading home from PAC computers today after another vapor excursion when a black Dodge Charger R/T proceeds to ride up my ass like a proctologist funded by universal healthcare. I slow down like I normally do, he backs off a bit. We just about clear West Milford when he rips out over the double yellow and passes me right before the ambulance squad. Wouldn’t you know it, there was a speed trap right after it, and in typical fashion – the cop doesn’t pull out.
I continue on my way, not in any rush, when inevitably I catch up to the Charger that is now stuck behind a Jeep with a trailer. Inside, some shrimp dicked midlife crisis in progress is eyeing his rearview while flicking an analog cigarette out the window, oddly enough not really tailgating the trailer, instead slowing down so I can catch up.  I keep my distance since I’m not a teenager or an asshat, and eventually he ~chuckle~ follows the Jeep down Hoyt Rd… Of course not before stopping, and SLOWLY turning out of my lane to make sure I have to come to a complete stop.
So let me get this straight… you’re in a rush, you catch up to me (as I’m driving the second most pathetic creation ever devised by Chrysler at 5 over the speed limit), tailgate me, pass me illegally when you realize that I’m not going to play any games or speed up because I’m intimidated by the vast singularity hovering mere inches above your driver’s seat, then make a point after I’ve caught up because you’re an overzealous twat by slowing down and taking your sweet ass time to pull out of my way…
God I’m glad I grew up.
