Hmm, how was YOUR WEEKEND?

Highlight if you want to be grossed out:

Friday: Miss work. Doctors office. Sat on my ass. Adjust. Sit on my ass. Adjust.
Saturday: Sat on my ass. Adjust. Oh Hell, that’s not supposed to happen. Call doc “Go to ER if it doesn’t stop.” Sleep for 8 hours.
Sunday: Wake at 3am, go to ER. Underwent “chemical cauterization” (picture sticking a habanero pepper up your ass, then multiply the pain.) Came home. Slept another 4 hours. Went back to ER. Bought myself Kotex for the first time.
Monday: Sat on my ass. Adjusted. Sat my ass. Adjusted.
Tuesday: Miss work. Sat on my ass. Shit for the first time since last Thursday, fucker was 20″ long. Visit Surgeon’s office.

So I ask, HOW THE FUCK WAS YOUR WEEKEND? I’ll know I’m healthy again when it starts to rain.

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