For more than a year now, the good people of Grace Community Church have been by my side in my walk with Christ. The past few months have been challenging to say the least.

On the advice of wise counsel from a friend, I downloaded a podcast application to my phone (Podcast Addict) and began to explore the 10 years of messages spoken by the senior pastor and others.

So. Much. Conviction. Forgiveness. Rest. Guilt. Hiding sin. Believing. Obeying.

I can only imagine how different my 30s may have been had I been subject to the conviction of God… Had I believed, truly believed in Jesus. What mistakes could I have not made with the wise counsel of God? What could I have accomplished with Jesus by my side?

I know that even then, in my feigning faith, He was with me. Even as I embraced my own Messiah complex, He pursued me. As I blindly drove my life off the cliff with a proud smile on my face, He tried to steer me away from the precipice. Free will, right?

Folks, even today I thought I was good with God! I thought I was facing Him, close to Him, in reality there I was again, foot to the floor like Thelma and Louise. I let that old sin back in. I let that old guilt push me back down. I let myself backslide the whole time as the solution was a mere repentance away.

I know that through Jesus I can always find my way back home. I just need to pray, daily. Read scripture and breathe it in daily. I need to remind myself of where I came from, where I am, and be open to the joy, peace, and love that Jesus brings me, every single minute of every single day.

These convictions are red flags in my life, things I need to turn away from and give to the Almighty God. Thank you Jesus for being here for me, sacrificing yourself for me, and always being present to lead me back home.


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