Pizza Hut Tech Support

“Pizza Hut Tech Support, how may I help you?”
“Uh… Hi there, I just ordered a large pizza with mushrooms…”
“And what is the problem you are having?”
“Well, the guy just delivered it, I have it on the table, now what?”
“Have you opened the box up yet?”
“Well I did have my handy box cutter out, and I cut the box off the pizza!”
“Off the Pizza? Sir, you only had to cut that small piece of tape to open the box!”
“What do you think I am, some sort of idiot? Listen buddy, I make pizza from scratch, I eat pizza all the time, and I know damn well how to open the box!”
“Ok Sir…So what is the exact problem you are having?”
“Well I have the pizza on the table, but it is a big circle and we have 4 people to feed, what do I do?”
“Do you have a pizza cutter sir?”
“Of course I have a pizza cutter…what does it look like?”
“It is a small round metal disc with a handle that lets you cut the pizza as the disc turns.”
“Hey, there is no need to get all technical, why didn’t you just say the wheel knife!”
“Ok sir, take that ‘wheel knife’ and cut the pizza from edge to edge, in as many slices as you need.”
“Ok, thanks, I’ll try that”

*click*

“Pizza Hut Tech Support, how may I…”
“HEY YOU YOU IDIOT, I CUT THE PIZZA LIKE YOU SAID AND NOW THERE ISN’T ANY CRUST! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? I WANT CREDIT GOD DAMNIT.”
“Uhhh sir, have you ever worked with pie before?”
“Of course I have worked with pie before, what do you think I am, stupid!?”
“Try cutting across the pie, so you can split it in half and have 2 identical pieces, then cut those pieces in half, etc…”
“Ok…”

*click*

“Pizza Hut Tech…”
“YOU LISTEN TO ME I WANT TO GET GOING WITH THIS PIZZA ALREADY…”
“Uh, what is the problem?”
“Well I cut the pizza in half like you said.”
“And?”
“The halves aren’t identical! There are more mushrooms on one side than the other.”

I’ve wanted to type something up like that for awhile. I’m sure there are similar jokes out there like that, in fact I’ve seen one for General Motors. I just thought it’d be funny to carry over tech support to a pizza place.
Any suggestions on where else might need tech support? Drop me a line and I’ll write up a call.

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