Flashback, 1996.

Just had something brought up I hadn’t remembered for ages…

Back in ’96, I was in my Junior year at Warwick Valley High School, and dating a Sophomore. Anyhow, she had this girl picking on her for years… real vile shit. Girls are just mean. For sake of argument, lets call her “Julia.”

So one day I’m walking down the hall, and “Julia” calls me a Fag.

The gears started turning… my twisted little mind kicked into overdrive and I devised a plan to permanently shut this girl up and keep both my girlfriend and I free of that garbage. I responded “Don’t call me that again.”

Next day, walking down the hallway, pass “Julia” again… “Fag!”

I just smile and walk straight into the Principal’s office, where the following conversation ensued:

“I want to charge another student with Sexual Harassment.” (yes, girls CAN sexually harass a guy)
“Who?”
“Julia…”
“What did she do?”
“Every time I pass her in the hallway she calls me a Fag. Last time she did it, I asked her not to call me that again. Today, she did.”
“Well that’s not really Sexual Harassment.”
“Really… So if every time I passed her in the hallway, I called her a Dyke, that wouldn’t be Sexual Harassment?”
“Well yes, that’s different.”
“Not really, I think my family lawyer will agree, should I call him?”
“Let me talk to her, I’ll be in touch.”

A day or two go by…. I’m called into a scheduled ‘mediation.’ It was a new way to try and get students to work out their differences and keep the administration from having to do their job. So I agree to it and show up. “Julia” doesn’t even make eye contact. I state that I want her to leave me and my girlfriend alone, and I’ll drop it. “Ok fine, can we go now?”

Girl never looked at, or talked to, either of us ever again. Lot of good it did! People wonder why I tend to avoid solving the personal problems of others anymore.

That shit still makes me laugh.

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