~Have you been hit by a Ford… Lately~

You can call it a character flaw, well, I don’t think it is… A few weeks ago I ran into a situation – well, avoided – where a complete moron pulled directly out in front of me when I was driving down the road. While I slammed on the brakes, the roads were wet, and I didn’t have the option to go left OR right (oncoming traffic / guard rail). Both yesterday and today I had the same thing happen.

Yesterday, I’m on main street in Florida of all places, 30mph zone and fairly busy. This idiot in a Mustang is trying to parallel park his car. There’s enough room in the lane to continue on, so I do. He then gives up on parking there and nearly pulls into me as he goes around the parked car in front of him and successfully parks. I had to jerk my car into the left lane to avoid being hit. Afterwards he just hops out of his car and goes off to do his business, completely oblivious.

Driving down the road, I’m doing 55-60mph on a road with a 55mph limit, as I pass a deli some complete jackass in an Explorer pulls directly out in front of me from the left. I wasn’t going fast enough to pass him on the right before he completely entered the lane, braking may have slowed me enough but I had a line of cars behind me that I didn’t feel like catching, the left lane was clear so I dropped it into 2nd and punched the gas. Now he was doing maybe 25-30mph when I passed him, I get in front and slow down to my original speed… he proceeds to floor it and catch up to my rear bumper.

I guess the situation confused the idiot, as I’m sure he is in the habit of pulling out into traffic without concern for other drivers every day. What tailgating me accomplished beyond proving that he’s likely short a few of the key chromosomes that differentiate homo sapiens from Geico actors is unknown to me. He ended up backing off a bit once we caught slower traffic, but I doubt he learned a damned thing. If I was in the same situation, and I nearly caused a wreck by pulling in front of another car doing a mile a minute – I’d stay the fuck away from them. Maybe put my hands up in a ‘sorry’ motion. I’d admit I fucked up. Ah well, another day, another dipstick.

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