Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if — and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy — “I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained,” et cetera, et cetera… “Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,” et cetera, et cetera… “Memo bis punitor delicatum”! It’s all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!
I’ll admit this was the first year I heard the myth perpetuated, and I almost bought it. In comes Snopes.com with a rescue in the last few moments of the game. Santa rules. Some people who think too much would like to remove Santa from the scene just as much as they’d like to eliminate Christianity, Judaism, and other religions that hold special celebrations around this time. Santa is secular, but he is a source of belief, if not faith – in something greater than ourselves.
That’s the threat.
Honestly, if you’re threatened by a fat man in a red suit that brings joy to anyone who believes in him… You’re pathetic. Get over yourself and let the kids be kids, heaven forbid they have some fun before they realize how cold this world really is.