CrackerJack Prizes, WTF Happened?!

Something that a friend pointed out to me today, and I really have to talk about. Anybody here whowas alive in the 80’s or earlier remembers that CrackerJack had some pretty damn cool toys in there. Anything from those little things with the steel balls, to a compass, to a book of tatoos, to those hologram things. What is in there now? Little piece of crap stickers, and numerous other things that they can’t get sued for if some stupid kid swallows it. I’ve made it 19 years, and I’ve been here long enough to know that natural selection works. The most dangerous things I ever put in my mouth was when I drank a bottle of bubble blowing solution. Thankfully all I ended up with was a bad case of colon blow. It is a fact of life that kids are dumb, thats why I’m never having any. Parents should expect that kids are going to put stuff in their mouth that most likely is not edible, and should practice some personal responsibility and common sense so that I would still have a reason to buy Cracker Jacks! Anybody can get caramel corn and peanuts, not everybody can get a cool suprise toy. Now nobody can because too many people don’t believe in natural selection anymore. If a kid is dumb enough to break the arm off his GI-Joe and swallow it, do you really want that kid growing up? Just what we need, a mechanic trying to eat the spark plug, or a Golf Caddy trying to swallow the tee, or even worse, the ball. Now we have crappy toys that you can’t take apart, with huge parts that we can’t put in our mouth even if we wanted to. All I have to say to give true basis to my argument is 2 words, Monica Lewinsky. Enough said.

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