This morning the oddest sensation washed over me, a longing I hadn’t felt in years. My stepson has a blankie, it’s his security blanket, his friend, he follows him just about wherever he goes. I don’t quite ‘get’ the blankie thing since I did have one – but I don’t remember being as attached to it. Something else had my affection – it was a Winnie The Pooh bear. Now it wasn’t one of those new ones which is made to look JUST LIKE the one from the Disney cartoons, nor is it one of the very old style that looks like a more traditional teddy bear. This guy was purchased in the early 1980s, was covered in a mustard-yellow type felt, had a red shirt, and a metal spine (probably just a stiff wire so its head would stay up straight).
Anyhow, this bear followed me for YEARS. I slept with it every night, and by the time I hit my double digit its neck had been narrowed greatly by my hugging it tight every day and night. Then one day – for some reason or another, it vanished. Still today, at 31 years, I miss my bear and wonder where it went. In the age of Ebay I started looking this morning to see if I could possibly find another, hoping that someone, somewhere has one stashed away and possibly is putting it up for sale somewhere. It’d be an antique collectible at this point but I can tell you right now if I got one I’d hug the crap out of it.
I’ve got about 400 pages of listings to go through, maybe I’ll find it – maybe not – but who knows. That bear is a part of my childhood that if I can get it back – I don’t think I’d sleep with it like I did as a kid but having it around would afford me a sense of comfort and ease which I can’t say I’ve felt for a very, very long time.