On the Zeppelin tour…

Who really fucking cares?

IMHO, Led Zeppelin was no more ground breaking than Poison when CC Deville finally learned how to play guitar.  Sure, they put together some great tunes but there’s a reason that nearly every attempt to reunite or reinvigorate the franchise has failed horribly.  Page and Plant?  Crap.  Absolute crap.  There’s a reason they didn’t play Stairway to Heaven on that tour – they were waiting for the followup LP (where’d that go?).

Who listened to Zeppelin in the 70’s?  Teenagers.  They’re all now headed towards their 50’s.  Ever see 25,000 50 year olds in one place that wasn’t selling arts and crafts?  I’ll be astonished if they can fill an arena let alone some back-street blues club.

Both Page and Plant had some outstanding solo success, they should have just kept it that way and bowed out gracefully.  Instead we get a half-assed reunion every few years where simply put – they display just how dead the chemistry is.  They’re past their prime.  I nearly laughed myself off the toilet looking at the latest Rolling Stone with Jimmy Page looking like Gandalf and Plant resembling the bastard offspring of the Three Musketeer’s and a Shitzu.

There are some dedicated Zep fans out there that’ll gladly pay to get another Les Paul to the head, and more power to them.  Folks like them keep acts like the Rolling Stones, Barbara Streisand, and Gallagher in the black long after they should have gone the way of Ricky Nelson and the Big Bopper.

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching him smash the watermelon with the big hammer just as much as the next guy – but watching our heroes grow old is only worth it if they can still keep up…  Page, Plant, even Jones – they’re nothing without the real Bonzo.  Page should either get back with Coverdale or the Black Crows – or retire.  There’ll never be another Led Zeppelin and if the friggin music industry hasn’t caught on yet – the surviving members of the mighty lead balloon should have the decency to spare their fans another insult to the memory.

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