Breathe.

Last week I picked up a new bike, same model I had previously. Got back on the horse so to speak. My shoulder is much better than it was, a little stiff if anything. All in all I’d say I’m physically recovered. Mentally though?

The ride home from the dealer went well, no real issues, maybe a little hesitation on left hand curves. Tonight though… Decided to make the most of the nice afternoon and go for a quick ride.

So I’m coming back as the sun is setting whole approaching a left hand curve. I start to freeze up. I tap my brakes and it intensifies. I’m locking in to the shoulder instead of the road. Then I push through it. I focus on where I want to go.

I then feel what can only be described as a steel claw ripping into my chest as every muscle contracts with anxiety. I breathe. I made it through. I went through several more left hand curves and talked myself through each, praying to God to carry me through.

Right hand curves, zero issue. I can bomb through a right hander without any hesitation. Left handers like when I wrecked? I’ll have to keep pushing through the fear and overcome it a little more every ride.

I haven’t had a panic attack in a decade, tonight was the closest I’ve come. I refuse to let that fear control me. God bless.

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