News in from Boston, where it is still perfectly legal to drown a pregnant girlfriend, but no longer legal to play TAG.
That’s right.
TAG has been banned.
They started with dodgeball, and now tag. Apparently the thought of a near collision with another child was too much for some parents – and the school district – to bear. Mind you, bullying, fist fights, and other methods of childhood degradation likely go unchecked.
No kid ever lit up his classmates with a gun for playing tag or dodgeball.
So I’m walking through the office today, and what do I see? Ooh! Someone brought in a tray of cookies! I think I’ll have one… Wait, what the hell? Why would… DAMN IT!
I get to the tray and there before me as plain as day is the most vile, disgusting, and completely intolerable facets of life as I know it.
A half cookie.
You know you’ve seen it, cookies, muffins, bagels, any food in general that is laid out for public consumption. Hell, I’ve even seen it happen with one of those French curved dough things I can’t spell.
How hard is it to just eat the whole thing? Eating half of it doesn’t mean that your ass will only grow half as wide, that extra bit of caloric intake won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of your life! All it does is guarantee that the cookie, the bagel, the muffin, will sit there while its little cookie bagel and muffin friends MEET THEIR PURPOSE IN THIS LIFE AND ARE CONSUMED.
Those halfies just sit, get stale, and aren’t eaten. Failures. Tell me you’ve never seen that little snack frowning at you and wondered where all those little halfies go!
Be kind. Be fair. Let that little baked confection or breakfast food go off to its next life with pride, that it served its purpose.
JUST PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND SWALLOW.
SO I wake up this morning and as I’m flipping channels I catch the Mr.Howellesque visage of John F. Kerry on Fox News Sunday. Now if there was ever a shining example of what is wrong with politics in this country, it’s Kerry. He gets asked a question about the situation with North Korea…
Essentially, in the early 90’s, Korea did its usual “threaten until we get free stuff” garbage, Bill Clinton sent Jimmy Carter (a true prize of foreign policy for this nation) to ‘negotiate’ with them. He left, and North Korea had the finest nuclear power plants that the US could provide, plus tons of grain to feed their starving military complex.
The plan was a failure. North Korea contined to develop nuclear weapons, the US did nothing (instead of concentrating on the true threat, we kept lobbing cruise missiles at Iraq for the duration of the 90s), and today they have Nukes.
So today, John Kerry is on the news show taking jabs at the Bush administration (mind you, they’re not up for re-election any time soon) for not following the Clinton model. That’s right, instead of simply admitting (otherwise known as being honest) that the original plan was a failure, and proposing some sort of – any sort of – solution beyond the one that simply has not worked… He bashes Bush.
That, my friends, is the problem with politics. I can’t recall any other time in my mere 27 years on this planet where the American people were so eager to consume gianormous amounts of bullshit simply because they’ve been trained by the media and the cunning linguists in our Government to hate the current administration.
Just another never-ending blame game. Politicians have bunkers to protect them from a North Korean nuke…both parties. Do you?
Went shooting this evening. I’ve always had this fascination with the night-time, and the way different lighting affects the environment in general. After the “Life moves pretty fast” photos I took in Vegas, I wanted to see what else I could do with this little camera of mine. I took about 30 shots tonight, a few of my favorites are below for you fine folks to check out.
Well I had the software setup, and wasn’t quite using it, so I’m reverting back to my blog here. Gotta wonder how many people still read this besides the lazy fucks who only use RSS. I’ve been doing most of my blogging over on my myspace page as I was leaning towards eventually shutting this thing off. What can I say, I’m used to it. The convenience of having my own outlet not under the thumb of a humongoid corporate entity like Fox is actually a bit redeeming. The fact I get a few people to visit on occasion is even better.
I plan on further developing my gallery, and perhaps a section on my other addiction – World of Warcraft. Who knows.
Should be an interesting time.
That will bury Microsoft.
So today I installed some updates on a laptop at the office, one of which being the “Windows Genuine Software Fucker.” It rebooted with a STOP error (BSOD) AKA really fucking annoying and no real easy way to fix error.
So I reboot into “Last Known Good Configuration” and get nothing.
I reboot into Safe Mode… Same thing, BSOD.
So I reboot again, and proceed with the Repair Install from the XP Professional CD. That goes smooth until it finally boots.
I need to re-activate the system. Same computer, same copy of Windows, same license key, NEEDS TO BE FUCKING ACTIVATED. Now I don’t know why they even bother offering the opportunity to type it back in.
I typed the key in right, I’ll need to call them, go through the goddamned auto attendant who tells me that I need to talk to an Indian who speaks broken English and asks me 10 times why I reinstalled the software hoping that I’ll slip up and they can catch a vile, dirty, software pirate.
So I get through ALL THAT SHIT, sit on hold for TEN FUCKING MINUTES, only to have the part-time deli clerk on the other end of the phone tell me that their system is down and I should call back in an hour.
I CAN DOWNLOAD PROGRAMS ON THE INTERNET WHICH WILL DO IT. Of course, most are now paired up with spyware likely done so that Bill Gates can get a chuckle at the New World Bureaucracy he has created. ASSHOLE.
So again I call back, go through the auto attendant, get the human on the phone who asks me idiotic questions like ‘how many other systems have this exact copy.’ ARE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID? Gee, my whole network uses the same copy. Right. Fucking morons. The fact they have the audacity to ask me such a thing after all the money EVERYONE has invested in their lack of options software is bullshit.
So I’m taking a shower earlier before I head out, and there’s a friggin bug on the ceiling. I step out, grab some TP, and head back to squish the bug. I get one foot in, no sooner is my 2nd foot in than I lose grip, my legs go out from under me, I fall, catch the rim of the tub with my left tricep, flip out onto the floor and slide across it on my back like a damned hockey puck, smacking my head into the toilet bowl.
My arm is friggin killing me, but I suppose it could have been worse.
Of all the things that could go through my mind as I slid across the floor… I suddenly wondered why I never invested the whopping $2 on one of those grippy pads for the tub.
Identity theft is a big problem these days, so when I started reading through a MySpace bulletin which on the surface creates some pretty nifty names, I quickly realized that whoever wrote it originally did it to troll for identities. Think I’m full of shit? Check it out:
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (middle name and current street name)
*Now they know the street you live on.
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad’s side, your favorite candy)
*Nothing to lose here…
3. YOUR “FLY GIRL/GUY” NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
*Nothing major here…
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, favorite color)
*Common security question on some websites when you lose your password is: What is your favorite color? What is your favorite animal?
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
*Now I know the street you live on, and the city/town you live in. Goodbye anonymity.
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother’s maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet’s name)
*Nothing major here, unless you use your pets name for a password somewhere, or to recover a lost password…
7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom’s maiden name spelled backward)
*Ever use online banking or credit? Mother’s maiden name is an easy way to recover a password, add on the address and city and you can even change an email address.
8. PORN STAR NAME: (favorite pet name, street you grew up on)
*No big deal again unless you use a pets name for a password (very common) or still live on the street you grew up on.
9. SUPERHERO NAME: (“The”, your favorite color, the automobile your parents drive)
Again, favorite color.
Doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people, I’m sure. But realize that by using these results as well as information culled from the original poster’s Myspace profile… I now know her name, where she lives, her mother’s maiden name, her favorite color, and her pet’s name. Those are all used every single day in e-commerce to steal identities.
Think twice before you fill one of these out folks, ANYONE can see it.
So I’m watching tv this morning and catch this very anal add for Midas. I mean it almost had the feel of your average “buy this pill and all your ills will be cured, side effects are death” commercial. So we get to the end of this ad, and there’s this lanky pale teenager with shoulder length hair, standing next to a car with the wheel off who sings “Trust the Midas touch.” Makes no sense to me. Not to mention someone that young shouldn’t be in the shop, and if he works there shouldn’t be wearing his hair down. So that tells me Midas doesn’t supervise their shops right and I shouldn’t be suprised when some lanky putz doing a brake job gets his hair caught in an air ratchet and paints my car with scalp bits.
Oh wait, I do my own brakes.
While I wouldn’t expect Father Joe to run out in the streets to riot at the release of Da Vinci Code ala the Muslim rage at the cartoon depictions of Muhammed, the blind willingness to supress dissent and mislead is typical of modern religion and one of the main reasons I haven’t been to Church since I turned 18 and got some free will.
While I’ve lost faith in my elected leaders, I’m still a Conservative at heart and as such one of my frequent reads is National Review Online. One of the pundits had a commentary on their experience watching the Da Vinci Code and in a few words… it’s the Anti Christ.
Mind you, this elitist moron started out the article by bragging that he hadn’t even read the book, that he gave up for a bunch of knee jerk reasons I’d expect of the bleeding heart elite. After all, why attempt to logically discuss a point of view when you can shout it down and mislead your readers?
If the Da Vinci Code is anti anything, it’s anti Church. The modern church is nothing more than an overloaded topheavy bureaucracy attempting to push their own view of Christianity on the people of the world. Religion is an essential part of the proper moral upbringing of any human being, that said, you don’t need a church to practice religion. Ask the tree hugging Wiccans and Pagans, they’ve got along just fine without having to molest children or collect a tax known as a ‘tithe’ so you get to visit God when you die.
Some people have unquestionable faith in their religion, and immediately decry any attempt to discuss an alternate view of the faith. For whatever reason they cling to these beliefs as if their very lives and existence depend on it, ravenously destroying any dissent…. and then there are Muslim Extremists which save us the trouble of hearing them whine by blowing themselves up.
I have faith, I believe in God, as I was created in His image, I say GO SEE THE DAMNED MOVIE. I highly doubt that when you meet St.Peter, seeing a Tom Hanks film is going to send you on your way to see Lucifer.
That, and if you feel like eating a hamburger on Friday during Lent, make sure you get some bacon on it, alright? If you’re on your way to Hell might as well enjoy it.
I don’t know about you, but I found the book entertaining. Whether or not Jesus had a wife, I really couldn’t care less. Doesn’t change how I feel about my God or Jesus. Some people just need to take a fucking pill.
