To The Metal

There should be a law, listen to me – starting to sound like an old man here. At least, there should be an industry standard, in the film industry, that gives some perks to a movie-goer who sits through a near 3 hour long turkey like the movie Watchmen.

Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy movie-theatre-ass as much as the next guy, but when the only stand-outs from a 2 hour and 45 minute social commentary circa 1986 are a glowing blue penis and the fact I saw the full trailer for Terminator Salvation… I’d rather have waited for the DVD from Netflix.

From the start, the film was SLOW. I seriously considered sneaking out and checking out the latest mall cop movie (and don’t worry, the team that brought you Knocked Up is working on another one of those) after about 20 minutes… but I sat through. What followed was an obnoxious amount of blue penis, peacenik and superhero persecution, and the punch line – that humans are doomed and can only unite under a shared state of misery.

I’ll still pick up the comic now that I’ve seen the movie, but where V for Vendetta was updated to use a misguided commentary on current events – Watchment depended on an alternate reality, wrapped in the cold war, where there really is no middle ground – only extremes… and those extremes? Are just plain dumb. Nixon for 5 terms? Peaceniks executed en mass? Electric cars on the streets after world peace breaks out on the backs of mass murder? Come on, I’d need to suspend a pulse let alone disbelief to truly enjoy this crap.

All in all, Watchmen’s underlying plot made about as much real sense as the one from the V for Vendetta movie, but wasn’t nearly as entertaining.

If this movie is even HALF as awesome as the previews would have us believe… It will be the best Terminator film yet.

So far I’ve got this trailer on loop. It is… beyond belief. FINALLY, they’re doing the story justice.

It’s good to see that at 50mpg, the 2010 Toyota Prius will have finally reached the same fuel efficiency that Volkswagen did 20 years ago.

Still, any move forward towards cost-effective fuel efficiency is a major bonus in my book, especially with the ability to run completely silent.  I personally can’t wait until these guys take the lead again, and find a way to shoe-horn a freight train horn under the hood of one.

My biggest hopes are that prices will come down, that someone will finally pair up a hybrid drivetrain with a diesel (and make 50mpg look like a gas guzzler), and that Chevy will come to their senses and realize that nobody in their right mind is going to pay $40k for a state of the art Chevy Malibu… beyond the Hollywood elite who are still pissed that their EV1’s were recycled.

Wow, just… Wow.

Not many things get me to say that, but when a company takes care of a consumer when the product they’ve purchased doesn’t meet expectations – I say WOW.

Last October, the headlamps on my VW started to fail. I always replace them in pairs, decided to pick up Sylvania Silverstars. I didn’t want a mix of yellow and white light either, so I picked up 2 pairs of bulbs…

Now these aren’t cheap, but they’re the same wattage as OEM and are bright as !@#$. I love them. I loved them up until 3 months later when one of the low beams failed, and the other shortly followed. I know how to swap bulbs, I know I didn’t touch the glass, so losing $40 in 3 months after the OEM’s lasted over 3 years was pretty disappointing.

I contacted OSRAM Sylvania through their website and explained the situation. A day later, they respond and tell me that they’ll replace the bulbs within a year of purchase. I didn’t have the receipt, so I sent the bulbs back along with their email last week.

Today I got 2 new pairs of H7’s for my VW in the mail. Wow. Just… Wow.

That’s easily 80 bucks worth of lighting, and they stood behind their product and took a stranger over the Internet at his word. I’m very impressed, and my faith in Sylvania products has been restored completely.

It also helped that I followed some tips from Consumerist.com on how to properly contact a company for this sort of problem, which I’m sure helped to get the problem resolved quick.

Watched the Oscars last night, usually skip them, but I was surprised that they actually put on a good show. High point for me? Ben Stiller’s mocking of Jaoquin Phoenix’s interview on Letterman. Seriously almost fell off the couch after that one. The musical number with Hugh Jackman and Beyonce wasn’t bad, even though Jackman’s voice really wasn’t into it (more like a broadway Wolverine). The tribute to Heath Ledger when he won the best supporting actor award was also very good. Not a dry eye in the house I could tell.  I also enjoyed the Slumdog Millionaire numbers.

One thing that bugged me about the hole night, was that for some reason a certain camera man couldn’t help but continually pan over to Al Gore Jr. Seriously, the guy looks like a reject from a NAMBLA convention. His only accomplishments in life being surviving the birth process, and topping out the speed on a Prius. I wouldn’t let a kid trick or tread at this guys house, let a lone watch the Oscars where his twisted sneer shows up more than Jessica Biel’s fine, fine, FINE body.

Just finished watching the movie “Blindness.”

Looked interesting from the previews.

Entire city goes blind.

People are stuffed into a sanitarium by the government to quarantine them.

Bad people are bad, good people are good.

Spoiler: Their sight comes back in the end.

After 2 hours of this movie, all I can ask is… “What the !@$ just happened?”  They never get into the ‘how’ or ‘why.’  I’m sure the intellectuals love this movie, and can pick out the various metaphors, but I don’t care.  This has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve seen on my television since I saw a live cow fly past a truck in Twister… which oddly enough is on TNT right now.

Holder: US is nation of cowards on racial matters

Eric Holder has described America as a nation of cowards when it comes to race, that not enough of us talk about race issues, et al.

I don’t care about race issues, I don’t like or hate anyone based on their race. I don’t prattle on about it because it doesn’t matter to me. Sure, I’m a white guy, but what exactly am I doing wrong here? Why the !@#$ am I a coward because I don’t see people for where they came from, but for who they are? I could have sworn I was doing things right. Sure there are plenty of racists out there, but what am I supposed to do, track them down? Blow their heads off? How about I just let them churn on in their hate, let them be the EXCEPTION, not the rule. They are the exception. The majority of Americans aren’t talking about race issues because they are busy BEING AMERICANS.

From what I can tell, we had a very big conversation on race last November – did Eric Holder miss the memo?

NY governor proposes Internet tax on downloads

I sent the following to the Governor’s office this afternoon. If you’re a NYS resident, as I am, this sort of garbage cannot be allowed and you need to let the Governor know it! The people of NY do not deserve to be punished for the mistakes that these lawmakers commit!

“Governor Paterson, the nation’s economy is in a historic recession. Both brick and mortar as well as Internet retail is suffering severely. Enacting a tax on downloads at any time is a mistake which will reward New York’s lawmakers, including yourself, for a rampant inability to do what the rest of us New Yorkers do – live on a budget! Not only will this tax encourage further wasteful spending and fiscal mismanagement in this state, it will add another nail to the coffin of an already struggling economy. Internet commerce has grown exponentially since its inception because government regulation has been minimal, if you implement such a tax, it only opens the door for greater taxation which will only serve to punish innovation and growth. Shame on you for even suggesting such a law, you should be cutting spending to eliminate these shortfalls, not adding more money to a leaking pot.”

Woman In Critical Condition After Being Attacked By Chimpanzee

…and that my friends is why I always keep my effing monkey IN CHECK.

Kan. suspends income tax refunds, may miss payroll

…and that my friends, is why I don’t effing claim 0 on my W2.