To The Metal

Go to drop off an 80lb shelving unit today… I can’t park near the door because the only free spot is effectively blocked by a handicapped driver who is taking up both the handicapped and the non-handicapped spot.

So I did what any normal person would do…

“Would you mind parking completely in the handicapped spot please?”

Asshat.

So I head in to work today… I’m doing 55mph and catching up to 3 Jersey drivers. Great, people who don’t know how to drive in the rain. First passing zone is a wash. Second passing zone is a wash (oncoming traffic in both instances). Third passing zone and the guy in a SAAB goes for it, that’s fine and dandy, but he creeps past the front car and pulls back in, not even at 55mph. I get past him, now in front, doing 55-60mph, and this old guy in a fucking 5th Avenue pulls out with MAYBE 20 feet to spare. He’d been sitting on the shoulder for the entire duration of the cars passing each other, but waits until we are ON TOP OF HIM to pull across the oncoming lane and out in front. Even with my ABS chirping away I almost rear-ended the guy. I get past him, salute him, and continue on my way aggravated as FUCK. The real gem of this story? He pulls off from where he pulled in a mere 100 feet further down the road. He couldn’t have waited a moment to let the traffic by. Bastard didn’t even use his turn signal.

Just to make it clear, now had the guy been pulling off with maybe 100 feet to spare, I would have seen it and been able to slow down without nearly smashing into him. It was a case of him pulling out across the oncoming lane with no turn signal, easily 20 feet to spare and I had no-where to go. I couldn’t punch it and pass him on the right because he cut across at such an angle, and there was an oncoming minivan which he also cut off, so I couldn’t punch it and pass him on the left. A lesser driver would’ve had an accident.

THIS is the problem with elderly drivers, call me an ageist, I don’t care. I’m sick of constantly having near misses at the expense of someone who CLEARLY SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING. I’m sure there are plenty of seniors who still have all their skills, reflexes, and abilities behind the wheel at a level which allows them to continue to drive safely… Sadly though there are enough out there, especially in the area I live who should only be near a motor vehicle as a passenger or a cadaver – not the driver.

Now, could I have just stayed behind the other cars? Sure. Could I have not passed the SAAB as well? Sure. Would the guy still have pulled out regardless of who was coming – absolutely. I’ve got more faith in my skills and my vehicle than anyone else on the road around me… As it is my new car with new tires and new brakes nearly smashed into the moron.

At least Mermaid was nice enough to drive normal this morning. Sup dude. 🙂

I could still stand to be a little more patient while driving, I know this. Just the same, it doesn’t matter what speed you’re driving, there are always inattentive assholes who will wreck your day and in all liklihood – never understand why.

Was the recipient of a genuine Honda Flyby this morning… haven’t gotten one in years. Pull out of my driveway, and there’s an orange Civic on my rear bumper. We get to the start of the 55 zone, and at 45mph in 2nd, I get on it. I shut down near the end of the straight only to see the Civic baring down on me. So he pulls in front.

Wow. You’re fast. I’m impressed. All bow down to the orange Civic.

Next straight, I’m 3rd in line, room to pass, he pussies out, so I get on it (real cars have a funny thing called torque, it lets you pass other vehicles without needing a half mile of open road to pick up speed). I pass the Civic, pass the minivan, and keep going… never to be seen again.

I hadn’t had a flyby in so long, I’d assumed they became out of style. Still serves no point. I’m in a turbo, you’re in a commuter with a passenger.

FYI: a Honda Flyby is when a driver in a faster car has blown the doors off a generally stock Honda… the Honda driver will wait for the opportunity to get a running start and fly-by the faster car. Can’t beat momentum.

Always wondered what these could do. Today I got to find out first hand. Heading home from the office, the driver gave it a bit of juice heading into a curve, I followed in kind. We played some cat and mouse but I’ll admit, the 560 had me beat. I only started to creep up at absurd speeds which I’ll not mention here… 🙂

My ride’s about 1000lbs lighter, and has about 100ft/lbs less of torque. Sure, I could chip the thing and make up the difference… But I don’t need to have the fastest car to be able to play.

There’s just something about 2 quality engineered German machines tearing ass through the countryside that gives me crazy ideas like going to Germany, renting a Porsche, taking on the Autobahn… hmmmm 🙂

On my way into the office this morning… There’s a green Chevy Suburban tailgating the hell out of a red Ford Freestar. We get to the 35mph zone, and as I’m slowly catching up, I get about 3 carlengths behind the Suburban, it pulls out across the double-yellow and passes the minivan. Thing that suprised me, is that the inconsiderate, tailgating, unsafe lane changing, asshole SUV driver used their turn signal when returning to the right lane.

So? That’s like trying to outrun the Police but stopping for a stop sign. You already broke the law, using your turn signal at this point is just ludicrous.

Minivan was only doing 35-40mph in a 35mph zone… what a nightmare. It would figure that on a morning where I’d expect to see a Goshen PD cruiser anxiously waiting for a speeder… nothing. I tell ya, if they want to put a dent in speeding and aggressive driving on this road, they need to watch the 40 and the 35 zone, and send an occasional patrol down the 55 zone.

Between the nitwit in the Suburban and that Jersey girl in the green Cougar who’s in a rush to go nowhere, I’m starting to remember why I slept in so often. I’d rather deal with a school bus.