Archive for October, 2006

The flyby…

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006

Was the recipient of a genuine Honda Flyby this morning… haven’t gotten one in years. Pull out of my driveway, and there’s an orange Civic on my rear bumper. We get to the start of the 55 zone, and at 45mph in 2nd, I get on it. I shut down near the end of the straight only to see the Civic baring down on me. So he pulls in front.

Wow. You’re fast. I’m impressed. All bow down to the orange Civic.

Next straight, I’m 3rd in line, room to pass, he pussies out, so I get on it (real cars have a funny thing called torque, it lets you pass other vehicles without needing a half mile of open road to pick up speed). I pass the Civic, pass the minivan, and keep going… never to be seen again.

I hadn’t had a flyby in so long, I’d assumed they became out of style. Still serves no point. I’m in a turbo, you’re in a commuter with a passenger.

FYI: a Honda Flyby is when a driver in a faster car has blown the doors off a generally stock Honda… the Honda driver will wait for the opportunity to get a running start and fly-by the faster car. Can’t beat momentum.

It’s Tradition!

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Always wondered what these could do. Today I got to find out first hand. Heading home from the office, the driver gave it a bit of juice heading into a curve, I followed in kind. We played some cat and mouse but I’ll admit, the 560 had me beat. I only started to creep up at absurd speeds which I’ll not mention here… 🙂

My ride’s about 1000lbs lighter, and has about 100ft/lbs less of torque. Sure, I could chip the thing and make up the difference… But I don’t need to have the fastest car to be able to play.

There’s just something about 2 quality engineered German machines tearing ass through the countryside that gives me crazy ideas like going to Germany, renting a Porsche, taking on the Autobahn… hmmmm 🙂

Bring on the caffiene…

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Most people believe that the cheese wheel satiates an abstraction living with a senator, but they need to remember how carelessly the fat scythe returns home. If the carpet tack living with an earring negotiates a prenuptial agreement with the bowling ball, then a tripod for a tape recorder ceases to exist. A parking lot avoids contact with a flabby girl scout. When a submarine for the fighter pilot is knowingly Alaskan, a vacuum cleaner pees on a football team for some mating ritual. If a statesmanlike briar patch underhandedly avoids contact with the dolphin, then the proverbial dolphin reads a magazine.

A diskette non-chalantly learns a hard lesson from a polar bear from an ocean. The antankerous pickup truck learns a hard lesson from some CEO near the tape recorder. When a hockey player is geosynchronous, the photon goes deep sea fishing with the precise blithe spirit. A psychotic wheelbarrow makes love to a pickup truck. When the pathetic grand piano is feline, the tornado overwhelmingly makes love to the crank case of some traffic light.

Letter to The Editor

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Sent this to the Warwick Advertiser this morning:

I don’t know about you, but when it comes time to vote I prefer to vote for the folks who put up the least number of road-side advertisements. It’s partially because I enjoy my chaos theory with a side of wealthy politicians forced to waste money on failing campaigns. How these signs stick around in a town where you can be fined for placing a garage sale sign without a permit evades common sense. The main reason behind my own litmus test for a worthy politician (oxymoron aside) is that once Election Day has come and gone I still see those campaign signs dotting the landscape. Now whether you’ve won, lost, or are in the middle of another taxpayer subsidized recount; when Election Day has come and gone please clean up after your candidate. It doesn’t say much about environmental stance by leaving the countryside littered with low-buck marketing.

Well that doesn’t make sense..

Monday, October 30th, 2006

On my way into the office this morning… There’s a green Chevy Suburban tailgating the hell out of a red Ford Freestar. We get to the 35mph zone, and as I’m slowly catching up, I get about 3 carlengths behind the Suburban, it pulls out across the double-yellow and passes the minivan. Thing that suprised me, is that the inconsiderate, tailgating, unsafe lane changing, asshole SUV driver used their turn signal when returning to the right lane.

So? That’s like trying to outrun the Police but stopping for a stop sign. You already broke the law, using your turn signal at this point is just ludicrous.

Minivan was only doing 35-40mph in a 35mph zone… what a nightmare. It would figure that on a morning where I’d expect to see a Goshen PD cruiser anxiously waiting for a speeder… nothing. I tell ya, if they want to put a dent in speeding and aggressive driving on this road, they need to watch the 40 and the 35 zone, and send an occasional patrol down the 55 zone.

Between the nitwit in the Suburban and that Jersey girl in the green Cougar who’s in a rush to go nowhere, I’m starting to remember why I slept in so often. I’d rather deal with a school bus.

Weekend in Review

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Normally I get plenty of sleep and have a good time when I go out on the weekends.

Normally, an extra hour of partying due to the time change is a good thing.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

Friday went well, if you consider me crawling into bed mildly incoherent – well. I had a blast at a private party where I lost 5 rounds in a row of beer pong and kept screaming REMATCH after each loss. I can’t stand Bud Light, but damn if that doesn’t get ya drunk fast I don’t know what will. Probably didn’t help that I had come straight from the gym with an empty stomach… OOPS.

Started out the festivities on Saturday with dinner at Harpoon Bay in Warwick. Excellent as always albeit a little light on the linguine this time around. I usually go there a minimum of twice a month, great restaurant, great prices, and outstanding food. I happily recommend ANYTHING on their menu. Saturday evening held the main event, as a friend an I had planned on tag-teaming the club as James Dean & Natalie Wood from Rebel Without a Cause. My costume worked out great, just about nailing the movie-poster dead on. I’ve got pictures on the way, don’t worry. You could hardly tell that I was taller, stronger, and more brunette than Dean, but I had the outfit right.

Now you know those old Woody Woodpecker cartoons where the stiff white guy walks onto the screen and says “And now if Woody had just called the Police, none of this would have happened.” Well, i won’t go as far as needing to call the police, but I probably should have just taken off after the first hour. I ended up napping in my car for an hour and a half, then coming back to some drunken old fart harassing a friend – and me nearly getting in a fistfight over it. Tons of fun. Good to know my whole size and intimidation factor works tho. Tell a guy “Don’t” while looking him in the eye, and he walks off cursing me.

Woulda been damned entertaining if he actually had tried to hit me. He was maybe a foot taller, but about 25-30 years older than me and cocked. I was still sober as my reaction to a Jack & Coke early on in the evening said I should not partake of the spirits that night. Damned Beer Pong… it would’ve ended quick. Who knows, maybe with blue eyes I’d be able to pull off the intimidation factor better.

Can’t seem to go there without nearly ending up in a fight these days.

So I end up leaving the club around 4 to bring my friends home, leaving their house around 5. I haven’t driven that tired in ages. What kept me awake more than anything were the down limbs along the back roads of West Milford. Almost got pulled over when I swerved into the oncoming lane to dodge a limb, but thankfully the oncoming trooper (a half mile ahead) saw the limb and didn’t come after me. That, and at one point I had cocked my head straight back and the guy behind me honked a few times… thank you, sir! I haven’t fallen asleep while driving since I was young and stupid-er, didn’t think I was going to have a problem on Sunday morning, but I think I’ll just pitch a tent next time and get a few Zzz.

Sunday, Jimmie came in 2nd at Atlanta, and is now in 2nd place in the standings. Go 48! Wouldn’t mind smacking Carl Edwards in the back of the head though, had he not held up the 48 I’m convinced he could have overtaken Tony Stewart. Still, congrats to Tony, part of me still likes to see a fellow chubby guy win.

Last but not least, I’m halfway to having enough Gold for my Epic Mount in World of Warcraft. Farming in Un`Goro Crater yields me at least 50 gold for under two hours of farming my herbalism. I’m pondering a switch to Mining from Skinning, but it looks like the top level ore brings in about the same as top level skins…


Too much caffiene…

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Most people believe that a food stamp figures out a cowboy, but they need to remember how hesitantly an inexorably surly skyscraper gets stinking drunk. When the bullfrog reads a magazine, a salad dressing around a mastadon procrastinates. A briar patch is phony. An ocean, a vacuum cleaner over a corporation, and a blood clot of the buzzard are what made America great! When a parking lot goes to sleep, the power drill laughs out loud.

Sometimes a somewhat mitochondrial fairy flies into a rage, but the college-educated corporation always completely avoids contact with a fundraiser! Sometimes some sheriff for a mortician prays, but the magnificent cowboy always is a big fan of an asteroid! Some defendant is righteous. The cosmopolitan traffic light single-handledly secretly admires some tattered tabloid. Some pickup truck inside the grand piano procrastinates, and a chess board for a buzzard hesitates; however, a mean-spirited jersey cow eagerly trades baseball cards with the briar patch. For example, the particle accelerator indicates that a bowling ball figures out the most difficult fruit cake. Most people believe that a turkey completely secretly admires a stoic blood clot, but they need to remember how knowingly the turn signal defined by an apartment building beams with joy. When a tabloid is gentle, the outer globule tries to seduce the inferiority complex. A grand piano around the ski lodge feels nagging remorse, but a satellite secretly admires an asteroid inside an ocean.

Now and then, a briar patch goes deep sea fishing with a nation from a rattlesnake. Any oil filter can compete with some scythe, but it takes a real pit viper to ridiculously bestow great honor upon a mastadon. When a nuclear customer is paternal, the flatulent avocado pit lazily recognizes a vaporized cowboy. Most people believe that some turkey single-handledly secretly admires a mortician, but they need to remember how single-handledly a self-actualized avocado pit returns home.

Oh please!

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

I’ve always been told there was media spin, and I’ve noticed it from time to time – stories buried, facts hidden, etc… But I’ve never actually experienced the ‘drive-by’ media first hand until last night. As most of you know, I’m a Conservative, and I try to follow the exploits of Rush Limbaugh when I can.

Now go ahead and take a moment to whine and moan as most people do when Limbaugh’s named is mentioned.

No really, go ahead. I can just about hear you myself. Done? Good.

So on Monday’s show, Rush was commenting about some political advertisements done by Michael J Fox on his show, and he said “he is either acting or off his meds.” As usual, Rush was right, and his statements are being taken out of context by the mainstream media. Long story short, Fox has admitted to going off his Parkinsons medication to illustrate just what it can do to someone. That’s fine and dandy, it’s his right to share his opinion with America. What I personally do not agree with is using an incurable disease as a prop to get another sleazeball politician elected.

Voting Democrat will not cure AIDS, Parkinsons, Leukemia, or severe spinal cord injuries. It won’t. As illustrated by the election results in nearly every major election since 1994, neither will voting Republican. The simple truth here is that if these politicians who just so happen to be Democrat actually had a leg – or issue – to stand on, they would not need to try and scare sick people into voting for them.

That’s what politicians who are out of power do though, at least the ones who don’t have a leg or issue to stand on. They try to scare you away from the other candidate in order to vote for them. Be it old people and medicare, or everyone and terrorism. I’ve seen attack ads against Republicans running for the Senate in New Jersey because they supported the war in Iraq. Egad! No! Why you cannot support that!

I hate to break it to you gentle folks, but if tomorrow the Democrats controlled every single facet of Government, we’d stay in Iraq longer, we’d lose more American lives, and it would definitely become a resounding failure. Not by the hand of our men and women in uniform mind you, but by a gaggle of useless meatbag politicians who make all their decisions based on focused polls of people in Connecticuit, California, and other blue states.

Back to my point though, I’m watching the NBC nightly news last night, and it only takes a few minutes for a select line from Limbaugh’s LONG monologue to be replayed over and over, “it was an act.” They also showed a small bit of video from his WWW feed where Limbaugh was illustrating how Fox was moving during the ad… They ignored the whole statement and immediately focused on Fox’s response. Now in a fair and balanced media, wouldn’t they have shown the whole statement? Wait… you mean the mainstream media isn’t fair and balanced? No more than Fox News is.

I feel for Michael J. Fox. I thought he was great in the Back To The Future movies. Just the same, when your foot enters the political arena, you don’t get a pass due to your illness when you use your illness as a prop. If anyone’s a better example of the failures of socialized medicine, ask the guy who immigrated from the Canadian way of doing things to America. He should know better than to believe a politician can accomplish anything, let alone a cure for disease.

IE7 – A Guilty Pleasure

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006

So last night I finally got around to upgrading the Microsoft browser on my system, Internet Explorer, to the latest – version 7. I can’t lie, it’s a very fast and smooth browser. It’s like someone took the polish to Firefox and slapped a Microsoft badge on it. It honestly looks and feels that solid.

Not to mention, the Microsoft ClearType technology that gives it a real smooth look is another one-up on Firefox, unless you have it enabled for your whole system – which I do not.

Couple of gripes though…

Validation. It’s a fucking web browser. Why should it care what operating system it runs on, or that the operating system it is running on is legitamite or not?

Reboot. Yes, after installing IE7, I had to reboot my system. I can uninstall and reboot Firefox 20 times without a reboot. There should be NO REASON WHATSOEVER to reboot a computer to complete installation of a component as basic as a WWW browser.

I’ve got Firefox 2.0 official, and IE7 official. The ass-odometer leans towards IE7 as taking the lead. For all I know it could be a bulky pig on the back end, but the front screams Maserati. It’s smoother, faster, and more solid than Firefox at the moment IMHO.

Don’t get me wrong, FF 2.0 is also an outstanding browser, but for the time being I am back using IE7.

How you know you’ve played World of Warcraft far too long…

Monday, October 23rd, 2006

Someone asks you online: A/S/L?

You respond: 27/M/60.

God save me.